Never would have happened if I was single

So, let me tell you about my weird little day…

I’m back on days as of Monday (thankfully) seeing as I wasn’t getting decent hours at night because of all the rain that kept sending us home, which is the downside of working outside. Which leads me to today where I’m working with a younger guy from another group and the boss goes “Take this young man with you and teach him how to read grade stakes because we have a ditch that needs to get finished and ready for sod.”

Our day goes pretty normal. The guy is nice, mid twenties and seems intelligent all around which is cool as one thing I can’t stand is stupidity. We hit it off pretty well.  As we’re talking he’s telling me about his girlfriend and other normal guy chat. After lunch he’s like “Hey man, can you take and drop me off after work where my girl works” and I was like, “Yeah sure where is it?” and he was like, “Just up the road on Phillips Hwy not to far.”  So I agreed since it wasn’t really out of my way.

Our day goes on and we get the sod finished the ditch gets opened up the water flows and it’s all very neat and lovely that it turned out like it was supposed to.

We go to the car and we’re chitchatting on the way to his destination and he calls his gf and say hey we’ll be there in a few minutes just meet us out back. I didn’t think anything of it until he’s like  take a right here at the bar and I was like …huh? Because it wasn’t just a bar, it was one of those all nude gentlemen’s clubs.

bearcoveringeyes
picture by flicker user 곰J view the original at https://www.flickr.com/photos/trust_no_1/5268266192

We come into the parking lot and he jumps out and opens the gate so we can go around back.  Once we’re at the back door he knocks, of course my eyes are darting back and forth and I’m sweating a little under the collar because this is absolute last place a happily married guy wants to be, so of couse when the door opens about 4 females are peeping out around the door in various states of undress.

There is no quick way out of this and there is his girl is wearing a gypsy draped tassled up number that is barely there. I don’t even think the top she was wearing could be called a bra because it was so tiny that it looked more like a tube top for a barbie doll. Whatever it used to cover it wasn’t built for her I can tell you that. Then of course I hear the most dreaded words that you can hear in this situation “OH! Let me meet your friend”

I can hear my wife giggling madly in my head over my luck of getting myself into this kind of situation and I am trying not to stare but I really have no choice because man, it was just all out there. [sigh]  Of course her friend then sticks her head back out and goes “is the other one taken?”

And I’m thinking to myself, ” how do I get out of here without getting in trouble?”  because now she wants us to come in and I’m like I gotta go, and I once again hear my wife in my head like some kind of messed up Jimminey cricket cackling like mad because it’s just one of those days.

Yeah, that’s my kinda luck but that wasn’t the full day. Oh no, I’d pulled a muscle in my leg earlier trying to get into my machine at work so my escape in my manual transmission car was not as quick as it could have been and so I saw more flesh than I ever needed to see.

Now, of course if I had been single this never would have happened. Not in a million years [sigh]

 

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